Is it possible to restore trust with your loved ones when you enter recovery? Yes, it is. It will take work, though. Remember that addiction is a liar and a thief. It lies to those who have substance abuse disorder by telling them they are all right and can handle their chemical use. It steals relationships with family members and friends by putting drugs and alcohol first. Addiction makes getting high and drinking more important than any family member or friend.
Addiction is the Thief of Relationships
By the time you are entering addiction treatment, chances are good that your family members and friends have been significantly impacted by addiction. Harsh words, excuses, and broken promises have strained relationships.
When you seek help for your addiction, it doesn’t mean your loved ones automatically forget everything that has happened in the past. They will likely be happy you are getting help. You still need to take accountability for previous actions if your goal is to restore trust with your loved ones.
Tips for Restoring Trust with Loved Ones
Stopping drinking or using drugs is a crucial first step in restoring trust with your loved ones. Building a long-term recovery is something that takes time.
Rebuilding trust with family members and friends increases your social support. Having it will help you with your recovery by boosting your self-esteem and improving your motivation to stay sober.
-
Stay Sober
If you’re serious about rebuilding trust with your loved ones, take your recovery seriously. Don’t spend time around your old friends who are still drinking or using drugs. Stay focused on the work necessary to stay sober, which may include:
- Going to 12-step meetings
- Taking medications, as directed
- Seeing a therapist for individual sessions
- Attending group therapy sessions
- Participating in sober activities
-
Start with Small Steps
Expect that it will take time to restore trust in your relationships. You may want to dive in head first to try to “fix” the hurt that exists between you and your loved ones all at once. Be very careful you don’t make any grandiose promises you may not be able to keep after you complete your treatment program. Your family and friends will see right through you. It could even push them further away.
The small steps count when trying to restore trust with those who are most important to you:
- Showing up on time when you say you will can be a big step forward.
- When attending family gatherings, participate in conversations instead of nodding off or leaving early. Stay to the end and offer to help with the clean-up.
- Acknowledge special days and anniversaries in your social circle with e-mails, texts, greeting cards, phone calls, or visits.
-
Respect and Honor Boundaries
Boundaries give your loved ones a way to protect themselves from (more) hurt while you start your recovery journey. You also benefit from boundaries since they protect you from family members enabling your addiction. If everyone respects boundaries, eventually, you will regain your loved one’s trust.
-
Take Accountability for Past Actions
People living with substance abuse disorders often have difficulty taking responsibility and being accountable for their behavior.
- They may blame their drug and alcohol use on stress from school or work.
- Some people attempt to deflect attention away from their past behavior by bringing up previous confrontations or perceived slights from family members or friends.
- Others say that the reason they acted out while using drugs and alcohol was due to traumas they have experienced previously.
The above behaviors don’t demonstrate to loved ones that you understand your substance abuse has hurt those around you. Once you know the impact of your addiction on your friends and family, you must take responsibility for your actions.
-
Remain Accountable
Accountability doesn’t stop when you enter treatment. You need to show the people closest to you that you are serious about your recovery.
It means going to work or school regularly, paying your rent and bills on time, and being accountable. Being accountable also means taking care of your home by keeping it neat. It also means taking care of yourself by eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and getting sufficient rest. Your clothing should be clean and tidy, and you should take care to ensure that you are well-groomed.
-
Communicate Honestly
You used to use chemicals to block out strong emotions. Going to treatment is going to help you learn how to talk more openly and honestly with your loved ones. Being truthful in your dealings with others is a key part of building trust. It helps you build your credibility, one conversation at a time.
Your family and friends are part of your recovery journey. As you restore trust, you’ll learn to lean on them when you aren’t feeling as confident about resisting cravings. It doesn’t hurt to have several people in your corner as you start your recovery journey.
Anabranch Recovery Center offers a full range of addiction treatment services to our valued clients. Detoxification (detox), residential drug and alcohol treatment, relapse prevention, and follow-up care are all part of our individualized programs.
